Conversation

Why the hell am I siting here feeling sorry for myself? It is her birthday. I should be happy as can be, because she is the most wonderful (if highly stressed) child ever created. And you and I, much as we would have loved to have done so, were not able to create her. Nor would we ever have been. She is a unique blend of her father and me, and so she would have been someone else entirely had she been yours. Still, I think you would have been a better father, in many ways. You do have your flaws, I am not blind to them, but I think you would have been a better father for her anyway. You seem to understand that people mature at different rates, and that there are many reasons that a child will need extra time and attention. You needed extra time, and you were able to give it to yourself. I stil cannot tell you how proud I am that you have achieved so much. I can only hope that DD has the opportunity to make her life what she wants it to be, as you have done with yours.
I need to stop sitting still, and get on with it. I understand that, I am just having some difficulty getting going. As usual, I would rather be miserable than change. You remember that, don't you?