Saturday, September 18, 2004
I told you the truth this morning. I have never trusted anyone else that much, and I have never felt that way toward anyone else. In fact, if anyone else ever tried to make me that vulnerable, I think I would probably laugh in his face. Either that or slap him silly.
But you're different. I send you chatty little emails, wishing you well, and inside I just want to hop right back onto that airplane and throw myself at your feet.
You know that I will behave myself, and stay put, because that is what you tell me you want. And because your happiness is what I want.
Does that make me a masochist? Maybe. Self destructive? Absolutely. But there you are.
I miss you. I get up at a completely unreasonable hour every morning, if I sleep at all, just to watch the screen to see if you're going to talk to me. I function, I go into the office, and I get my work accomplished, and I fulfill my other obligations, because I know that you would be disappointed and unhappy if I was unable to do so. But for the most part, I don't care about them anymore.
But I have to go now. My bladder calls. And you know how demanding it can be.
But you're different. I send you chatty little emails, wishing you well, and inside I just want to hop right back onto that airplane and throw myself at your feet.
You know that I will behave myself, and stay put, because that is what you tell me you want. And because your happiness is what I want.
Does that make me a masochist? Maybe. Self destructive? Absolutely. But there you are.
I miss you. I get up at a completely unreasonable hour every morning, if I sleep at all, just to watch the screen to see if you're going to talk to me. I function, I go into the office, and I get my work accomplished, and I fulfill my other obligations, because I know that you would be disappointed and unhappy if I was unable to do so. But for the most part, I don't care about them anymore.
But I have to go now. My bladder calls. And you know how demanding it can be.
