Friday, October 08, 2004
At one point in this narrative, I believe I stated that it would be fine with me if it was all about sex. I was mistaken. I had forgotten just how much of an emotional investment it takes for me to trust someone that way. Of course, it has been so long since I've really trusted anyone that I think I just pushed the thoughts out of my mind.
Don't get me wrong - I absolutely enjoy the hell out of everything you and I do, and everything you have me do. I just realised this morning (between trying not to be so loud due to the spouse having come in at just about 5:30 and crawling back into bed) that it wouldn't be possible for me to enjoy it so much if I didn't believe you were enjoying it. Somehow, pleasing you has become the most important part of the whole thing.
So I crawled back into bed this morning and fell asleep thinking of your arms around me.
Don't get me wrong - I absolutely enjoy the hell out of everything you and I do, and everything you have me do. I just realised this morning (between trying not to be so loud due to the spouse having come in at just about 5:30 and crawling back into bed) that it wouldn't be possible for me to enjoy it so much if I didn't believe you were enjoying it. Somehow, pleasing you has become the most important part of the whole thing.
So I crawled back into bed this morning and fell asleep thinking of your arms around me.
