Conversation

Okay. I have to stop this. I'm sitting here beating myself up again, and for no good reason whatsoever. I need to quit second guessing myself, and just say what I think, and let the chips fall where they may.

One of the things I admire most about you is your ability to be completely honest with me. It is just so damned refreshing. And yet every time you ask me to tell you what I think, and I do, I spend an enormous amount of time and energy beating myself up over it. Did I say it right, is it too much, or too little, did it really express what I think... it just goes on and on.

So many things fighting to get out, and so very little time to write. I'll just have to muddle through, and try to capture them as they appear in my mind. The very best ones come to me at times when I have nothing to write with, and are gone before I get back to the computer. Yes, I have a running conversation with you going on in my head. (more like a monologue, really) and I think of all these things I just have to tell you, and then, when the time comes, they never sound the same as they did originally. And often enough, I can't really remember them at all.

So, now that we have my state of mind firmly pinned down (for at least the next minute and a half, that is.) I'll get back to work.