Saturday, November 27, 2004
Tears
I do not know if you want my tears, and await the day I tell you about them, of if you hate them.
If it is my tears you want, I have plenty to offer. For you, over you, I could easily cry every day for the rest of my life.
Me at my most vulnerable.
If, in fact, you do not wish me to cry for you, I will keep it all inside. It hurts me to do so, but if my tears make you unhappy, I will. For as long as you need me to do so.
It isn't strength not to cry. It is mere force of will. Yours over mine.
As you said one day a long (seems long, anyway) time ago:
"Because I said so, and you do want to please me, don't you?"
And I do.
It kills me to think that you may be disappointed in me, or that I may have failed you (again) in some way.
I do not know if you want my tears, and await the day I tell you about them, of if you hate them.
If it is my tears you want, I have plenty to offer. For you, over you, I could easily cry every day for the rest of my life.
Me at my most vulnerable.
If, in fact, you do not wish me to cry for you, I will keep it all inside. It hurts me to do so, but if my tears make you unhappy, I will. For as long as you need me to do so.
It isn't strength not to cry. It is mere force of will. Yours over mine.
As you said one day a long (seems long, anyway) time ago:
"Because I said so, and you do want to please me, don't you?"
And I do.
It kills me to think that you may be disappointed in me, or that I may have failed you (again) in some way.
