Friday, February 04, 2005
Your grip on my waist gets just a bit tighter, and we aren't quite strolling anymore. You're leading me somewhere, and I'm beginning to get the impression that whatever you have in mind, it isn't going to be the fun surprise I've been anticipating all day.
I slow down, watching your face instead of where I'm going, trying to catch your eye. But you are looking straight ahead, moving just a bit more quickly now, the pressure of your arm on my back and your hand on my waist making me keep pace with you.
Rather than slowing our progress toward whatever lies ahead, my hesitation has cost me even the appearance of a leisurely stroll through the mall. At this pace, we're obviously not doing any window shopping.
I open my mouth to say something, and you look down at me for the first time since you let go of my hand. Yes, the smile is still there, but the expression in your eyes doesn't match it. It isn't anger. I would recognise anger in you. No, this is something different, something new.
It looks like a mixture of a couple of things... I can see the disappointment, but there's something else. It wouldn't be visible to anyone who didn't know you so well, but I can see it, and it almost looks like excitement. As if you've been waiting for me to mess up (again) just so you could do whatever it is you have in mind. Almost as though you're enjoying this.
And that both frightens and reassures me. I know that you are capable of subjecting me to things I couldn't begin to imagine, but I also know you won't do anything rash.
"You had this in mind all along, didn't you? You already knew there wasn't a new story up there."
We turn the corner into the food court. You propell me toward the back corner, where you order a Coke and a large glass of ice. "Ice?" I ask. The smile starts to creep into your eyes as you reply, "You're going to need it."
I slow down, watching your face instead of where I'm going, trying to catch your eye. But you are looking straight ahead, moving just a bit more quickly now, the pressure of your arm on my back and your hand on my waist making me keep pace with you.
Rather than slowing our progress toward whatever lies ahead, my hesitation has cost me even the appearance of a leisurely stroll through the mall. At this pace, we're obviously not doing any window shopping.
I open my mouth to say something, and you look down at me for the first time since you let go of my hand. Yes, the smile is still there, but the expression in your eyes doesn't match it. It isn't anger. I would recognise anger in you. No, this is something different, something new.
It looks like a mixture of a couple of things... I can see the disappointment, but there's something else. It wouldn't be visible to anyone who didn't know you so well, but I can see it, and it almost looks like excitement. As if you've been waiting for me to mess up (again) just so you could do whatever it is you have in mind. Almost as though you're enjoying this.
And that both frightens and reassures me. I know that you are capable of subjecting me to things I couldn't begin to imagine, but I also know you won't do anything rash.
"You had this in mind all along, didn't you? You already knew there wasn't a new story up there."
We turn the corner into the food court. You propell me toward the back corner, where you order a Coke and a large glass of ice. "Ice?" I ask. The smile starts to creep into your eyes as you reply, "You're going to need it."
