Sunday, May 15, 2005
Spent a little time on my own this past week. It was enlightening, in that I figured out that I needed to take some steps I have been avoiding in order to get on with my life, and that I am not anywhere near as far along in my treatment as I had thought I was.
Maybe it was the fact that my purse grew legs and walked off with both my driver's license and passport, or the fact that because of the crazy schedule I was unable to take my medications the way I should, but the numbness is back, and I'm doing very little except sleeping and making sure Maria has what she needs. I have to get out this week - if I continue in this fashion I *will* end up at the beach, and nobody (with the possible exception of the stbx) really wants that.
I just wish I could see you. I don't know exactly what it would entail, but I do know that I would feel something. It might not be the most pleasurable (for me, anyway) but I *would* feel. And I need to feel something again.
(Yes, I know you want it to be pleasurable for me too - and I'll always love that about you.)
Maybe it was the fact that my purse grew legs and walked off with both my driver's license and passport, or the fact that because of the crazy schedule I was unable to take my medications the way I should, but the numbness is back, and I'm doing very little except sleeping and making sure Maria has what she needs. I have to get out this week - if I continue in this fashion I *will* end up at the beach, and nobody (with the possible exception of the stbx) really wants that.
I just wish I could see you. I don't know exactly what it would entail, but I do know that I would feel something. It might not be the most pleasurable (for me, anyway) but I *would* feel. And I need to feel something again.
(Yes, I know you want it to be pleasurable for me too - and I'll always love that about you.)
