Thursday, December 01, 2005
Arthur and I continue to chat while you praise Janice. I'm keeping his attention on me by asking him about what he does, and why it is so important that he not be one of the victims of the merger, and while I'm doing so I have taken one of his hands in mine and am gently massaging it, using a slow, soothing motion and as he talks and I massage, I see his face begin to relax.
"That's nice." "What is?" I ask. "The way you're massaging my hand and looking at me as though my conversation and comfort are the most important things in the world."
I chuckle, and tell his that, for me, he is the most important thing right now. That hearing about how he feels and what he plans for the remainder of his career and his relationship are all I'm interested in.
"But why? Why would you care about me?" "Because he does. One of the things the woman being trained will learn is to give her complete attention to him. To care if he is having a rough time and needs some help to relax. To know, just by the look in his eyes, what it is he needs from her. To pay attention."
"And if she is working in a stressful job, he will give her that same attention, at least for some time each day. He will make absolutely certain that she knows how much she means to him, how much he appreciates her devotion. He will give her the opportunity to talk with him about how things are outside the relationship, and will encourage her to learn to share her feelings about all things with him. And she will love him even more because he lets her know how important she is. And we all need to feel special and important."
Arthur looks me in the eye and says, "Does he do that for you?" "He tries. I sometimes have a hard time remembering that he believes I'm special and that he loves me - especially when there is someone else in the picture. But he has never given me any reason to doubt his love, and has given me more examples than I can count of just how he feels. He doesn't say it, but when I'm thinking clearly, I know he loves me."
"That's nice." "What is?" I ask. "The way you're massaging my hand and looking at me as though my conversation and comfort are the most important things in the world."
I chuckle, and tell his that, for me, he is the most important thing right now. That hearing about how he feels and what he plans for the remainder of his career and his relationship are all I'm interested in.
"But why? Why would you care about me?" "Because he does. One of the things the woman being trained will learn is to give her complete attention to him. To care if he is having a rough time and needs some help to relax. To know, just by the look in his eyes, what it is he needs from her. To pay attention."
"And if she is working in a stressful job, he will give her that same attention, at least for some time each day. He will make absolutely certain that she knows how much she means to him, how much he appreciates her devotion. He will give her the opportunity to talk with him about how things are outside the relationship, and will encourage her to learn to share her feelings about all things with him. And she will love him even more because he lets her know how important she is. And we all need to feel special and important."
Arthur looks me in the eye and says, "Does he do that for you?" "He tries. I sometimes have a hard time remembering that he believes I'm special and that he loves me - especially when there is someone else in the picture. But he has never given me any reason to doubt his love, and has given me more examples than I can count of just how he feels. He doesn't say it, but when I'm thinking clearly, I know he loves me."
